Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
