dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
