U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
