Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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