I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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