Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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