She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
