i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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