At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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