38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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