3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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