dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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