3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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