Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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