Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
