do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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