I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
