A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
