she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
