I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
