you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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