i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
