We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
