i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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