Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
