It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
