I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
