operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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