ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her

  (716): View more from New York

  Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild

  Fav 3 1037 1026

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

  Fav 14 2701 993

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.

  Fav 11 4749 1114

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty

  Fav 3 998 3030

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.

  Fav 11 4438 1119

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

  Fav 36 903 6870

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches

  Fav 4 1285 692

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

  Fav 14 3014 905

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

  Fav 3 1029 536

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

  Fav 6 1890 642

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

  Fav 2 908 566

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.

  Fav 1 853 589

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up

  (707): View more from California

  I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero

  Fav 1 594 157

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3

  Fav 0 51 14

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went

  Fav 0 5 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize