I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
