Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
