no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
