Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My life is pants optional.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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