Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
