Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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