I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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