this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
