been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
