I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
