well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
