You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
