I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
