I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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