I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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