I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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