Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
