am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My vagina is officially offended.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
