well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
