so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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