Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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