you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize