That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
