My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
