I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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