That's intense
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
