check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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