I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I AM VODKA MAN
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
