I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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