Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
