I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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