...so i touched it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
