hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
