The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
